Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Living In My Parent's Basement: What I've Learned

It's been almost two months since Tommy and I moved back to my hometown in Michigan.
Into my parent's basement.

Now, I don't think it's any kids dream to move back in with their parents when they are an adult.
Especially when they are married.
And have two kids.

When my mom first brought up the opportunity to me, my initial thoughts where:
   What about our privacy?
   How will we split the groceries?
   What will the parking situation be?
   How will they handle babies crying in the middle of the night?
And most importantly..
   What will OTHER people think when they find out?

Being the human that I am, the last thought was a big deal for me.
Even though neither of us have college degrees, we've worked really hard to provide for ourselves by managing our money carefully and living within our means. But moving in with your parents to most people = you are failing at life, need help, can't afford to live on your own, dumb, etc. (At least in MY mind)

I couldn't figure out a way to non-chalantly advertise, "Hey, we're not moving in because we need help - we're doing it to (insert real reason)". That way I could avoid being judged/look down upon.

As I sit here writing this, that insecurity and urge to "set everyone who is supposably judging me straight" still exists. But I'm realizing it really doesn't matter.

Anybody who really knows us knows the real reason why we moved into my parent's basement. They know what we are sacrificing emotionally, mentally, and financially to be here. Anyone else who doesn't know and is judging us doesn't matter.

So what was originally going to be a post for me to exclaim "Why We Are Really Living Here And What I've Learned From The Experience - Don't Judge Me" ended up being one about "What-I've-Learned-About-People-Knowing-We-Live-Here". And that's this:

  1) I am way too paranoid about what people are "maybe" thinking about me/my family (basically - I'm human)
  2) What other people think doesn't matter anyways. I know what we are doing is right. And most importantly - God knows and He approves (I think His opinion is a pretty big deal :) don't you?)


  1. I never thought I would want my kid living in my basement. Why would anybody want their kid living with them? But I found out I was WRONG! This is a precious time that we will never have again in our lives. I get to see my grandkids every day when I come home from work. I am getting to know my son-in-law better (and discuss wrestling with him--crazy!) and I get to watch my daughter first hand be a terrific mother :)

    But the real reason my daughter and her family are living with us is because I asked her to. We have a house of seven now--who knew that would happen. And without them, we would have to make other arrangements for the care of Dave's terminally ill brother. Being able to love on him during the last months of his life is more important than what anybody thinks....

    Love you guys.

  2. Dont feel bad! We lived in my mothers basement for almost a year before moving out again this past October. Financially we are much better off after staying there and working down our debt. One day closer to buying a house and becoming debt free. Everybody has their reasons! Good for you for making the decision that works for you and your family! <3